blaborous.wordpress.com
It was inevitable. Bloody blatant blasphemy was a phase and I thought my writing style has evolved (or de-evolved) to a point where it didn't suit the full-time student, part-time waitress, bitch in between me anymore.
So sepulchralaura.blogspot.com is here to stay. But it will be neglected except for reminiscing purposes.
I already miss this space ):
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Swallow all your bitter pills, that's what makes you beautiful
Burning out is when you realise that you're only human and working on pure motivation isn't enough to sustain you physically, mentally and emotionally.
And then there's the de-motivating factors that manage to extinguish every ounce of drive in you within half a blink of an eye.
Know what a living hell is?
Doing something you thought you had an undying passion for, only to lose that fire in you. And only then can the worse thing ever happen: feeling like there's no end in sight. That's when even one second of searing pain seems to take forever before it dulls into a throb.
I realise that I haven't felt spontaneously ecstatic in a while and I'm guessing that it's going to take a lot to make me.
As dubious as it sounds, I strongly believe that I will never ever be happy EVER. Amused, maybe. Seeing how I can laugh at the most obscure things. But I'm convinced I killed enough insects (and ideas, if they count) to ensure my immortalised pessimism.
I have absolutely nothing big to look forward to. Nothing. I have lived for nothing except survival. I have done nothing except exist. So there's nothing to look forward to in me except, perhaps, a comment or two, funny or otherwise.
They say when you recognise your worthlessness, you look for answers.
Wrong loh. Look for excuses, more like.
You can quote me on this by the way. I think its the fruit of some random flashes of brilliance I manage to exude.
TEEHEEEHEEEE. OMG. TOTALLY RUINED THE MOOD MAN.
And then there's the de-motivating factors that manage to extinguish every ounce of drive in you within half a blink of an eye.
Know what a living hell is?
Doing something you thought you had an undying passion for, only to lose that fire in you. And only then can the worse thing ever happen: feeling like there's no end in sight. That's when even one second of searing pain seems to take forever before it dulls into a throb.
I realise that I haven't felt spontaneously ecstatic in a while and I'm guessing that it's going to take a lot to make me.
As dubious as it sounds, I strongly believe that I will never ever be happy EVER. Amused, maybe. Seeing how I can laugh at the most obscure things. But I'm convinced I killed enough insects (and ideas, if they count) to ensure my immortalised pessimism.
I have absolutely nothing big to look forward to. Nothing. I have lived for nothing except survival. I have done nothing except exist. So there's nothing to look forward to in me except, perhaps, a comment or two, funny or otherwise.
They say when you recognise your worthlessness, you look for answers.
Wrong loh. Look for excuses, more like.
You can quote me on this by the way. I think its the fruit of some random flashes of brilliance I manage to exude.
TEEHEEEHEEEE. OMG. TOTALLY RUINED THE MOOD MAN.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
It's not the way I'm wired.
Another post to garner pity and, hopefully, aid in any forms.
I caught a cold, lah. So I'm basically rendered useless until i persuade someone in the house to run across the street and get panadol cold for me. But apparently they don't love me THAT much ):
Or maybe I just suck at the art of persuasion. Either way, I'm going to be a very grouchy cat for the next two hours while I struggle along with the extra-work-that-could-have-been-avoided-if-only-yahdeyah.
It's like there's no end in sight.
My only solace is that I have a whole new collection of Tool and APC songs to accompany me through the nights.
The intensity starts now. I shall do the rosary and pray that my lips don't form words out of anger and resentment. right.
And since the good die young, I'm going to commit indirect suicide by being the kindest, warmest most encouraging person you will ever meet in this lifetime.
I'm not kidding. It's a slow and painful death but it's also a loophole in the list of mortal sins the church has strongly encouraged us to NOT commit. I will definitely not go to hell.
Wah, Cat! So dark?!
Yeah lah. I got flu, right? I feel like dying, I can't feel my fingers or my nose and my shoulders ache. Gimme a god damned break.
I caught a cold, lah. So I'm basically rendered useless until i persuade someone in the house to run across the street and get panadol cold for me. But apparently they don't love me THAT much ):
Or maybe I just suck at the art of persuasion. Either way, I'm going to be a very grouchy cat for the next two hours while I struggle along with the extra-work-that-could-have-been-avoided-if-only-yahdeyah.
It's like there's no end in sight.
My only solace is that I have a whole new collection of Tool and APC songs to accompany me through the nights.
The intensity starts now. I shall do the rosary and pray that my lips don't form words out of anger and resentment. right.
And since the good die young, I'm going to commit indirect suicide by being the kindest, warmest most encouraging person you will ever meet in this lifetime.
I'm not kidding. It's a slow and painful death but it's also a loophole in the list of mortal sins the church has strongly encouraged us to NOT commit. I will definitely not go to hell.
Wah, Cat! So dark?!
Yeah lah. I got flu, right? I feel like dying, I can't feel my fingers or my nose and my shoulders ache. Gimme a god damned break.
i could get used to this
waking up earlier than usual to finish up some stuff, that is. No one's online to distract me, not that I'm complaining. I'm more focused in the morning compared to at night. So essays that usually gets completed in 4 hours, gets completed in 2 or less.
Plus, it's too early in the day for me to be in a bad mood. I never wake up on the wrong side of the bed cos I only have one side to get out. So the only culprit that causes me to get into a foul mood is 'People'.
But that's for another day.
Fiona made me an awesome card out of the blue and I'm keeping it in my notebook so that if anyone manages to piss me off enough to blow my top, I just need to look at it.
It's that pretty.
And the words were heartfelt. Only, her handwriting sucks. AL OH AL.
Sometimes I wonder why I get angry at the world? I've got great friends.
It's going to be an awesome day.
Plus, it's too early in the day for me to be in a bad mood. I never wake up on the wrong side of the bed cos I only have one side to get out. So the only culprit that causes me to get into a foul mood is 'People'.
But that's for another day.
Fiona made me an awesome card out of the blue and I'm keeping it in my notebook so that if anyone manages to piss me off enough to blow my top, I just need to look at it.
It's that pretty.
And the words were heartfelt. Only, her handwriting sucks. AL OH AL.
Sometimes I wonder why I get angry at the world? I've got great friends.
It's going to be an awesome day.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Words
They can inflict pain. Cause a stoic man to wail. They heal. Stir chaos. They can calm the soul. Educate and mislead. They represent truth and lies. Burn bridges and create new ones. They form new ideas and rehash the old. They create the spark in cold eyes, make warm eyes hard. They can make you laugh. Make you cry. Make you angry. Confuse you, enlighten you. They spell danger but hope at the same time. They mean what you write. But never what you mean.
Words are powerful.
But those that are unsaid, unwritten - That power is second to none.
SIGH.
You guessed it. I have work to do but am shamelessly broadcasting the fact that I am procrastinating. I woke up early just to get some things done but ended up watching videos on youtube. And now its time to get ready for school. Should I ponteng?
Oh. Cannot. Today's the assessed role-play for Ethical Dilemmas.
Role-play. Not as kinky as we all like to imagine it'd be.
TSK. LAZY LAH.
Words are powerful.
But those that are unsaid, unwritten - That power is second to none.
SIGH.
You guessed it. I have work to do but am shamelessly broadcasting the fact that I am procrastinating. I woke up early just to get some things done but ended up watching videos on youtube. And now its time to get ready for school. Should I ponteng?
Oh. Cannot. Today's the assessed role-play for Ethical Dilemmas.
Role-play. Not as kinky as we all like to imagine it'd be.
TSK. LAZY LAH.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Red Pens
It's a picture of Jyaas WITH A SHADOW ON HIS CHIN! That's right! His strands of hair multiplied and now he has chin shadow. Isn't that, like, totally awesome?
Can't kacau him about it though. He just left for NS. WAH. He is going to be a man.
But anyways. Here was the Bloody (Awesome) Christmas I had. Since Garrick conveniently lost the memory card, I'm left with the handphone quality pictures. And not everyone's in the pics either. Christine, Bai and Wongman's missing. SUCKS. You should see Wongman's dark pilgrim outfit. HEH HEH HEH.
Here's ZH being subjected to Gabsy's um. Expertise. I must say, it was a creative use of eye-liner. AAAAAND ZH even got his fingernails painted RED. Never mind the fact that Gabs had to knee him down before applying the nail polish. I swear I heard him whimper.
AND GARRICK, THE ONE WHO OWES US PICTURES. GRRRRRRR. Evidently, he was not spared from mutilation. I mean, adornment of the face.
AND THE DECO! Isn't it awesomely awesome? We had to think of how to de-happify Chris' place. It was so christmassy! And we committed the worse sin ever. WE HID THE NATIVITY SET WITH A YELLOW CLOTH SPLATTERED WITH BUHLOOD. You know, when we were working on it, Chris' parents kept giving me disturbing stares. It didn't help that everyone broadcasted the fact that the party was partly my idea.
And Chris' christmas card. It says "Don't let your feet hang off the bed". Other quotes include "I know what you did last Christmas" HAAHAHA.
Talk about Bloody Blatant Blasphemy!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Singapore's Bird Culling Exercise is not blog-worthy.
I blew close to 18 bucks cabbing to school from home. I know I've said this over and over again to Gera and Aud, but 17.50!!! Imagine how many plates of chicken rice that is! Complain ah wahlaueh.
The price has increased but nothing has bloody changed. Cabs still smell like old cars, drivers are still noisy in the morning and traffic lights are in-sync with a cab's motion. Notice how cabs NEVER zip past green lights EVER? The lights are never green, that's why. It's a ploy, i tell you. A freaking conspiracy!! 10 seconds, 10 cents leh. Might as well prank call idiots in Australia. More satisfying.
And it feels like S'pore might snow any minute. Lazy sun. And, surprise, surprise! I haven't had much sleep. Neither have I had dinner. I swear this is true. My dad bought chicken rice which made me lose my appetite because it reminded me of the cab fare.
MY NEEDS ARE NOT MET!!! I'm poor, cold, tired and hungry. Its as if I'm from a war-torn country.
And then there's the law paper that I've been sitting on the past 5 days. I've read it a dozen times but never really got down to it because it's FUCKING CONFUSING. And only 3 parties are involved. Macam Korean love story like that, man.
I think I'm stupid. Buay steady ah. Like that, cannot graduate already, loh.
Which means, I not only am poor, cold tired and hungry. I'M UNEDUCATED, TOO!
It's not like its the end of the world, anyways. Plan D is to hypnotise a BLIND, DEAF, RICH OLD MAN/WOMAN to sustain me until I become Mademoiselle Moneh Got a'Lot.
CHING CHING CHING CHING.
The price has increased but nothing has bloody changed. Cabs still smell like old cars, drivers are still noisy in the morning and traffic lights are in-sync with a cab's motion. Notice how cabs NEVER zip past green lights EVER? The lights are never green, that's why. It's a ploy, i tell you. A freaking conspiracy!! 10 seconds, 10 cents leh. Might as well prank call idiots in Australia. More satisfying.
And it feels like S'pore might snow any minute. Lazy sun. And, surprise, surprise! I haven't had much sleep. Neither have I had dinner. I swear this is true. My dad bought chicken rice which made me lose my appetite because it reminded me of the cab fare.
MY NEEDS ARE NOT MET!!! I'm poor, cold, tired and hungry. Its as if I'm from a war-torn country.
And then there's the law paper that I've been sitting on the past 5 days. I've read it a dozen times but never really got down to it because it's FUCKING CONFUSING. And only 3 parties are involved. Macam Korean love story like that, man.
I think I'm stupid. Buay steady ah. Like that, cannot graduate already, loh.
Which means, I not only am poor, cold tired and hungry. I'M UNEDUCATED, TOO!
It's not like its the end of the world, anyways. Plan D is to hypnotise a BLIND, DEAF, RICH OLD MAN/WOMAN to sustain me until I become Mademoiselle Moneh Got a'Lot.
CHING CHING CHING CHING.
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