her favourite colour is but platinum and gold, she only loves her stereo.

okay.

first, check this cool website out.

some are quite rough at the edges but who am i to say? i think they kick ass most of the time. and check out educatedguess, if you're interested enough. he's one of those with the ability to come up with emo songs which are genuinely emo, but aren't embarrassingly so. if you get what i mean, lah.

i secretly have a crush on him. heh heh heh.

and i swear he's going to be famous one day and I WANNA SAY "I TOLD YOU SO" when he does. *SWOOOOOONS

anyways!

i want to go on and on about the mega huge lunch crowd i have to brave everyday and how i have to cram in the mrt with everyone else and how my cubicle is situated at a place where the floor is thinnest so every soul that passes by creates a huge vibration that literally rocks me off my seat.

not that i'm complaining. i'm living like a human being now. no more nocturnal little miss mass communist any more. at least, for the next 5 months.

anyways, phil's bday was two days ago. treated him to dinner at thai express with gabby to 'grace' the occasion. bloody hell. never ever ever let your friends hang out with your sibs. they gang up against you and come up with dodo punch lines like 'DO I TURN YOU OOOOON' *bom*bom*bom*

not funny laaaaaah.

bahaaaaaarghahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

it's a SATURDAY! whoooopeedoogoldbergness.

=D

you know, despite the fact that he is an utter ass, he smells quite nice.

"what did i do to deserve this? did i kill a child or something worse?

self-pity is pathetic, although sometimes it is perfectly fine to indulge in a little bit of those once in a while.

you could call it a luxury if you want.

everyone has their coping mechanisms and whatnot. some sleep, some rant, some eat, some curse, some blast angry music into their ears, some fume-inwardly, swearing to right the wrong one day.

whatever it is, it's ok. really.

but if there's one think i'm going to make sure of this year, is not to turn self-pity into resentment or, inevitably, anger. of course, more often than not, it doesn't go into any particular order. but its this three key... things that maketh one's life miserable.

i mean, i don't particularly hate anything right now. or, strongly dislike anything for that matter. but i figured i might as well wave a flag of some sort before i drown. it'll be a magenta pink flag, a mixture of white and bloody bright red. all because i can't decide whether to surrender or head towards a whole herd of menacing irony gods, patiently waiting for me to walk right up to them for a large serving of humiliation and idiocy, medium rare.

i mean, i might as well do both and surrender AND fill my head with fire and pseudo-enthusiasm to Xplore, Xcite, Xcel.

really, i'm this close to hiding behind a barricade of apathy. this close to running to the Himalayas so that i can be a hermit, attain nirvana and tell myself that everything i left was just an illusion.

i mean no offense to buddhists everywhere. what i meant was that IF i did decide to go on a pilgrimage of some sort, or get inducted into a religious sect, i want to make sure its because i'm not running away. i don't want to decide something is al 'illusion' because i can't cope.

not that i'm contemplating it. its just a what-ifish, passing thought. i swear.

i figured there has to be some meaning to this... thing. to the whole idea of ME. from the little mundane stuff to the wacky half-hearted ideas to the bigger picture to the minute details. there has to be a reason why a thousand and one things have factored themselves into making my life so rooted to obligations.

because 15 minutes ago, i asked myself if i felt forced into doing the things i do or being who i am and i'm terribly disturbed that it came to a point where i had to ask myself such an atrocious thing.

and i don't really like that the answer is terribly obvious, too.

self-importance and the concept of the long now

routine fruitine.

third day into attachment and i miss school already. sure, everyone's really nice and patient and all. but i feel like how i felt when i first started working at the restaurant.

like a complete idiot.

there was an intern from sp before me and i'm dying to know what sort of impression she left on them. it's like a silent competition. i don't know. but i'm feeling quite pressured.

and everything's so routine. 9 to 6 today, 9 to 6 tomorrow. my sleeping patterns have been forced into normality. i have refrained from snacking. the pantry at the restaurant and the pantry here is different. one's full, the other's only filled with coffee, which, btw, is brewed. this guy from creative makes mocca out of milo and freshly brewed coffee. i never thought of that! but enough of rambling.

time to go.

bookman

it is a friday boohoohoosobsobsobxxxx.

in about 60 hours, iap starts and that means the whole anime-marathon and sci-fi bookamagig has to end.

tgif my ass

suki, yucky.

so.

results are out. appalling as mine were, i'm just glad i managed to scrape through. ok, actually, no. i'm quite irked by the fact that i just scraped through.

but hey. cest la vie. and i promise not to talk about it ever again. although, i must say, it was all my doing and the irony gods had no hand in this. i just slacked, period.

ANYWAYS!

i'm here to proclaim my pseudo undying lust for kelly jones. his voice is just so rugged and oh-so-sexy and ohmigoodygod if stereophonics performed live in singapore, i'd probably be one of those crazy-arsed girlies with fainting fits.

ok, maybe not.

just enough education to perform

you know how some things just strike you in the weirdest of hours, the weirdest of places?

i got struck, bebeh.

damn hard some more. i swear, reality is a mindfucker. yeap. it humps your brains so much that a cerebral orgasm just becomes... bleah.

its just like taking photographs. taking a picture used to mean so much. it was for special occasions, you know, weddings, birthdays, rare outings, blahdeblahs and yahdeyahs. but now its just EVERYWHERE. i think, somehow, photographs just lost its meaning. plus the fact that i can easily photoshop Ze Annoying Pimple in less than 5 minutes. ok, actually it takes less than a minute. BUT! my laptop makes it so that everything works thrice as slow. that plus a 10% leeway for any errors, you get 5 minutes. or 4.5 minutes. just for using the healing/patching tool on photoshop cs2. yeppers. so easy, right. once, i was at a printing shop that provided photoshop services and i heard the lady charge someone 60 bucks for red-eye removal and light correction.

but it takes skill, ok. i still remember the first graphcom class i had when shifu magically made cookies appear from a couple of brown circles. awesome, i tell you. i mean, mine turned out decent-looking but nowhere near as nice as shifu's. or maybe that's just a memory alteration since i could never duplicate the same thing when i got home. in the end, i just got a bunch of circles and a faulty ctrl z button.

hang on. i forgot my point.

.....

hear the glass breaking?

well well wells, i'd hate to have a blog full of sensationalized facts, which, by the way, is an absolute oxymoron, but hey, the world is pretty warped if you ask me. we even have 'deafening silence' so i reckon its safe to say that the impossible is possible, ehy?

ANYWAYS!

i have news. or probably what would hint at JUICY JUICY JUICY news! whoooooooooooo~

*alfred hitchcock music* it is ze mystery of ze century. how it happened, le cat does not know.

ok enough drama. i haven't blogged in a while not because i had nothing to blog about but i really lacked the time. GASP!!!! i have a liiiiife! whooooooooooooooopeedoogoldberg. yeah. i'm that excited. but also that broke. i'm going for a bbq tmw only because it means free dinner. sigh.

but i have something to tell you. i do't know how i'm supposed to start but well.

so, imagine us at changing appetites, gingerly poking zh's mango-cheese-chicken combo. i have no idea what it was called but you can be damn sure they had some crazy exotic name for a crazy (but good!) combo like that. but thats not the point.

gabs: ok guys its my treat.

zh: wow! what did i do to deserve this special treatment? (pretends to ponder for a while before screwing up his face in mock horror) don't tell me...

gabs: (rummaging through her wallet. yeap its that big enough for her to rummage through.)

zh: is it because of THAT night?

cat: BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!11

yeap. thats just one of the few zany conversations i''ve been through the past week. weeks. whatever.

and you can ignore my introduction. its just one of those days lah.

and i'm quite stuffed now. i opened a box of Oreo Os at work yesterday and 1/2 an hour later, it mysteriously disappeared. ok there wasn't any mystery to that but, you know, we didn't realise we were eating that much at such a speed. meaning to say, the 5 of us ate enough cereal (at night) to last us for about 4 breakfasts. that plus the family-sized block of black forest chocolate and kimchi ramen noodles. and keropok. and i forgot what else but i remember waking up today with a heavy stomach. i remember cooking, too.

yeah. anyone who is a waitress is a piranha

"LMAOZHEDONG" -P. sabif

sometimes i think

there was a bunch of little boys, around 10, discussing about The Love Calculator. yeap. you read me right.

The Love Calculator.

ten year olds.

only, there wasn't any mushy-wushy-gushiness that existed in their somewhat emo conversation. really.

boy1: eh chandran. i calculated your love just now.

boy2: what.

boy1: (starts laughing hysterically) yeah i calculated your love just now.

boy2: what lah.

boys3&4: who! who, who!

boy1: i calculated your love with my foot! bahahahahhaa. chandran and my foot! 98%!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! come kiss my foot. kiss kiss kiss. hahahahahahahahahahahahah.

yeap. so anyway, after i heard that, i had to question my calculated lovability with nana.



we still have chance, bebeh.

search lights

i need to go to the toilet now but its so dark outside. there may be stuff out there who think i'm delicious and big enough to satiate their hunger.

and i can't sleep.

see, this is what you get when you watch ghost hunt after midnight. especially an episode with a name like 'the blood-filled labyrinth'. sheesh, cat, sheesh.

i tell you. the phrase 'scared shitless' is plain bs. i'm anything but shitless now and i really really need the bloody toilet.

what good does it do?

i remember the day we got so bored, we started stacking the sauce containers.



i'm just feeling a bit random today.

and loved.

when the left and right lobe try to dominate

My second-favourite band has disappeared =(

Ok so they disappeared about a year ago but i'm mourning now because school drains the emoness out of you. They've disbanded indefinitely but i'm crossing my fingers because this isn't the first time. Of course, i'm not THAT sad because (god forbid) Tool hasn't disbanded. For the unenlightened, A Perfect Circle is a progrock band fronted by Maynard James Keenan, ze most talented musician to have ever set foot on earth. It's his 'side project' and Tool is his original, still-running band which i'm fonder than fond of.

But the thing about APC is that they sound damn good live and i daresay that they might even sound better than their studio recording. Perhaps its all the props and antics of the band, i don't know. But i'm going to die without ever being able to go to one of their live performance. boohoo.

So i'm sad and happy at the same time. APC is gone, with only traces of their greatness left behind in the hearts of the enlightened few. its like a void that can't be filled, i'm serious. but on the other hand, that means that Maynard would have more time for Tool!

And that's tres excellent because other than Tool's orgasmic songs, album art and website, you get a singer who wouldn't mind singing in public like this



or this



YAAAAAYNESS!!!! ALL HAIL TOOL, ALL HAIL TOOL.



yeah i figured you thought i was the pop/rock, evergreenish kind of girl, right.

but i'm only sane sometimes, lah.

anyways the cat has decided to remove the arabic time stamps because, truthfully, it started to bug the hell out of her.

so yeah.

noroi

this is the life, man.

i spent the whole day either sleeping or watching anime. so, i'm a pig but hey. what other better way to usher in the year of the pig ehy?

did i mention that this is the life?

life should just be about watching cartoons and wishing your life would be the same way. and, if you get tired of having your eyes opened, you can just go to sleep!

which reminds me. i've been having weirdass dreams of late and its driving me nuts. must be because i sleep at weirdass hours, i don't know. you know, a cat sleeps at least 16 hours a day? i'm telling you. it's a fact.

now that school's out (finafuckingly), the idea of iap has finally dawned on me and i'm excited.

but not very.

the feeling's very much like a kid's first visit to the dentist. its something new, so you're reaaaally excited. yet, you can't help but have this ominous feeling. of course, its just me.

but all of a sudden, just making coffee for people sounds like a better idea than churning a swot analysis every other week.

but i'm not worrying. not much, anyways.

besides, i'm having the best time of my life now. no point worrying about stuff that has yet to happen, no?

picture perfect non belligerence

actually, right, i think i'm going crazy.

yeah k thanks bye.

but i am not your substitute, sweetheart.

if monkeys could count

i'd fall, hard
scab my knee,
cry, as if no one heard.
laugh, just because
it's not real
the pain.

if donkeys could purr,
i'd stop, pretend
to count the shiny
dead, brilliant a thousand
centuries ago,
they shone.

if toads could sing,
i'd smile, without
a reason. For nothing
i'd laugh, restrained
because He
listened.

and if lions could sigh,
i'd feel, clouded.
even predators lost
hope, will You
try to, please,
save us.

only if.
because You promised
a miracle, i wasn't
convinced like them.

And they're not stupid.

*and this is what advert does to people. hard sell, soft sell, soft porn. whatever. advertising is as painful to the brain as r3aDiNg mY R4nTs bEIng tYpED liKE tHiS xXwOrxX. yeap. you take that brain pain and multiply it by a thousand. there you go.

=)

you know, 2006 was a whir. it's exactly like how progrock would be. a mishmash of god knows what. the angsty drum beats, the out-of-place flute and bongo sounds, the pseudo philosophical lyrics, the emo-in-denial vocalist and the abrupt endings that usually lead to the next track.

yeah it was a whir, alright. a bloody fast one at that. i can't say i've enjoyed being 18 that much because it was as mundane as mundane could be. i've still got some months to live it up before i turn 19. not that that's a bad age. but i reckon i'd have to go through some personality makeover before i reach the big two-oh.

yeah sure its a long way to go but hey. 2 years ago i was 16. i had wire-frame specs and i bit my nails all the time. i read animorphs alot and pretended to be fascinated by sandra brown. my hair was forever in a bun even after i rebonded it. i kept saying carpe diem was my motto when, really, i was bounded by the system and the only act of defiance i ever did was to wear ankle socks. oh, i loved westlife and dreamed of marrying brian.

and i went to church every saturdays and some sundays. i vaguely remember going there to study, too.

see, alot has happened in two years.

i abhor changes. you'd think i'd be used to it. heck, you'd think you'd be used to used to it, too. the reality is, we're all living for the past. really. i reckon i'm alive today to remember what i did yesterday. and that's probably why it takes me really long to move on. i guess that explains my outburst earlier. because, i admit. i was hurt. not that i was the only one but i don't care anymore. its been months. nothing's going to take up my attention any longer than half a year, i swear.

despite sleeping for many many hours, i feel drained.