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i need to go to the toilet now but its so dark outside. there may be stuff out there who think i'm delicious and big enough to satiate their hunger.

and i can't sleep.

see, this is what you get when you watch ghost hunt after midnight. especially an episode with a name like 'the blood-filled labyrinth'. sheesh, cat, sheesh.

i tell you. the phrase 'scared shitless' is plain bs. i'm anything but shitless now and i really really need the bloody toilet.

what good does it do?

i remember the day we got so bored, we started stacking the sauce containers.



i'm just feeling a bit random today.

and loved.

when the left and right lobe try to dominate

My second-favourite band has disappeared =(

Ok so they disappeared about a year ago but i'm mourning now because school drains the emoness out of you. They've disbanded indefinitely but i'm crossing my fingers because this isn't the first time. Of course, i'm not THAT sad because (god forbid) Tool hasn't disbanded. For the unenlightened, A Perfect Circle is a progrock band fronted by Maynard James Keenan, ze most talented musician to have ever set foot on earth. It's his 'side project' and Tool is his original, still-running band which i'm fonder than fond of.

But the thing about APC is that they sound damn good live and i daresay that they might even sound better than their studio recording. Perhaps its all the props and antics of the band, i don't know. But i'm going to die without ever being able to go to one of their live performance. boohoo.

So i'm sad and happy at the same time. APC is gone, with only traces of their greatness left behind in the hearts of the enlightened few. its like a void that can't be filled, i'm serious. but on the other hand, that means that Maynard would have more time for Tool!

And that's tres excellent because other than Tool's orgasmic songs, album art and website, you get a singer who wouldn't mind singing in public like this



or this



YAAAAAYNESS!!!! ALL HAIL TOOL, ALL HAIL TOOL.



yeah i figured you thought i was the pop/rock, evergreenish kind of girl, right.

but i'm only sane sometimes, lah.

anyways the cat has decided to remove the arabic time stamps because, truthfully, it started to bug the hell out of her.

so yeah.

noroi

this is the life, man.

i spent the whole day either sleeping or watching anime. so, i'm a pig but hey. what other better way to usher in the year of the pig ehy?

did i mention that this is the life?

life should just be about watching cartoons and wishing your life would be the same way. and, if you get tired of having your eyes opened, you can just go to sleep!

which reminds me. i've been having weirdass dreams of late and its driving me nuts. must be because i sleep at weirdass hours, i don't know. you know, a cat sleeps at least 16 hours a day? i'm telling you. it's a fact.

now that school's out (finafuckingly), the idea of iap has finally dawned on me and i'm excited.

but not very.

the feeling's very much like a kid's first visit to the dentist. its something new, so you're reaaaally excited. yet, you can't help but have this ominous feeling. of course, its just me.

but all of a sudden, just making coffee for people sounds like a better idea than churning a swot analysis every other week.

but i'm not worrying. not much, anyways.

besides, i'm having the best time of my life now. no point worrying about stuff that has yet to happen, no?

picture perfect non belligerence

actually, right, i think i'm going crazy.

yeah k thanks bye.

but i am not your substitute, sweetheart.

if monkeys could count

i'd fall, hard
scab my knee,
cry, as if no one heard.
laugh, just because
it's not real
the pain.

if donkeys could purr,
i'd stop, pretend
to count the shiny
dead, brilliant a thousand
centuries ago,
they shone.

if toads could sing,
i'd smile, without
a reason. For nothing
i'd laugh, restrained
because He
listened.

and if lions could sigh,
i'd feel, clouded.
even predators lost
hope, will You
try to, please,
save us.

only if.
because You promised
a miracle, i wasn't
convinced like them.

And they're not stupid.

*and this is what advert does to people. hard sell, soft sell, soft porn. whatever. advertising is as painful to the brain as r3aDiNg mY R4nTs bEIng tYpED liKE tHiS xXwOrxX. yeap. you take that brain pain and multiply it by a thousand. there you go.

=)

you know, 2006 was a whir. it's exactly like how progrock would be. a mishmash of god knows what. the angsty drum beats, the out-of-place flute and bongo sounds, the pseudo philosophical lyrics, the emo-in-denial vocalist and the abrupt endings that usually lead to the next track.

yeah it was a whir, alright. a bloody fast one at that. i can't say i've enjoyed being 18 that much because it was as mundane as mundane could be. i've still got some months to live it up before i turn 19. not that that's a bad age. but i reckon i'd have to go through some personality makeover before i reach the big two-oh.

yeah sure its a long way to go but hey. 2 years ago i was 16. i had wire-frame specs and i bit my nails all the time. i read animorphs alot and pretended to be fascinated by sandra brown. my hair was forever in a bun even after i rebonded it. i kept saying carpe diem was my motto when, really, i was bounded by the system and the only act of defiance i ever did was to wear ankle socks. oh, i loved westlife and dreamed of marrying brian.

and i went to church every saturdays and some sundays. i vaguely remember going there to study, too.

see, alot has happened in two years.

i abhor changes. you'd think i'd be used to it. heck, you'd think you'd be used to used to it, too. the reality is, we're all living for the past. really. i reckon i'm alive today to remember what i did yesterday. and that's probably why it takes me really long to move on. i guess that explains my outburst earlier. because, i admit. i was hurt. not that i was the only one but i don't care anymore. its been months. nothing's going to take up my attention any longer than half a year, i swear.

despite sleeping for many many hours, i feel drained.

see, guys act like pussies cos they don't have one.

uh uh uh. i'm not a feminist. oh no no no.

but somehow some dudes never fail to irk me, really. and why i decide to waste one post ranting on ball-less guys is beyond me. ok, no its not really a waste if its free, is it?

yeah well.

the point is, i'm not born yesterday. and whether you read this and figure its about you, that's your problem. of course, if you figure its about you then, yeah, it is, you motherfucker.

because i know it was my fault. and i did ask if it mattered. and if my memory is amazing, i remembered apologising profusely. so grow some balls, dammit. grow some balls and fucking deal with it.

fuck lah. its getting to me. chee bye.

and i dont give a flying fornication if i sound absolutely childish because its my fucking blog and i'm fucking MAD and if i don't do this, i reckon i'd probably commit murder or something.

disgusting.

i came back to leave part deux

my dad's truly the diplomat. i was making fun of my sister's quirks and concluded that she was a true blue retard.

and he said "No lah. Not retarded. Just.... One kind."

heeeheehee. i wonder if he thinks i'm 'one kind', too.

its one of those times you feel some great love for the folks at home.

oh back to chi squares and null hypothesis. I. AM. DYING.

i'll come back to leave

it sucks being a girl. really, it does.

no matter how hard you try, you just don't know what you want. its like a curse that comes with the 5-days-per-month bleeding or something. it must be the hormones! its uncontrollable. like like like there's another entity thinking (or not thinking in this case) for you.

and its not funny.

it also sucks having the attention span of a two-year-old because you start blogging in the middle of figuring out what notion of falsibility is.

but what the hey-oh.

i reckon i'll be back.

pseudo title

i finally figured out how to have a title field! yes! and that's what it's called. A TITLE FIELD.

so i'm in school now, attempting to cramp chapters of media research methods into my very capable-but-easily-distracted brain. everyone in the library's busy mugging or, at least, busy pretending to be mugging.

i'm just watching stuff on crunchyroll.com. the quality's better than youtube man. and they've got shitloads of anime in there. there's even doraemon. whooo!

about 5 hours to go before i haul my butt to chris' place and i can't wait. i plan to make jyaas over into a hotter babe.

remember this?



yeap. i'm gonna make him hotter and more desirable than me. i am truly the epitome of altruism.

and then maybe joseph and him can live happily ever after.



phil's getting his results this friday. he has his heart set on banking and finance in np. too bad i'll be on my attachment when he enters school. else, i can accidentally bump into him and extort money. grrr.

hi, i'm still alive.

IT IS OVER. i'm happier than happy. ecstatic isn't even the word. you could call it a happy delirium or something. whatever. i'll come up with a name for it somehow.

oh, i know.

its very much like how you need to pee yet you can't find a clean enough place to do it. then, by the grace of god, you receive the power to teleport and walaaah! you end up at one of Changi Airport's toilets.

Yes. imagine that ecstacy. and relief. i call it the shititsover feeling. pronounced as shee-tits-oh-va. heh heh.

but, seriously. year 2's almost over and i'm glad it is. you see the uglier(and lazier) side of people. then again, i saw the uglier side of me too. at least she's prettier than your ugly side.

and i'm kinda glad things turn out the way they did. minus the fact that i'd like to wring the necks of some pseudo headless chickens who claim they're swarmed with work when, really, i think all they do is spend the whole week being emo and worshiping a life-sized poster of minnie mouse.

shorty managed to settle the never-ending pishmish today and i'm glad she is the way she is even if some are not. she's tolerated my haphazard way of doing things (even adopting some of them). she's seen me through my fuck-ups and let-downs. she's covered my ass on certain occasions (and taught me how to cover hers).

oh oh and mum can finally sms me looong grandmother smses in 5minutes flat. and she has this weird thing with smileys. she puts about five smileys in a row. all with different expression. something like this :) :P :( :\ damn funny lah.

shit i think i'm happy. not good ah. to balance out the huge surge of endorphins, i'll go into depressed mode tomorrow. my system's that retarded.

oh yeah. and i no longer have a secret crush on benny the Nepalese artist-waiter with a sexy voice. HE GOT BO LAH. wahlau wahlau wahlau. benny is smelly.